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Episode blah of why I fail at adulthood.
Jun. 13th, 2012 10:47 amI'm going through one of those awesome phases where I don't sleep. Or rather, I can't sleep. Not sleeping isn't an issue for me usually, I'll start working on something and decide to stay up and get it done or whatever, then crash a couple of days later. No, this is me trying to get a normal night's sleep and failing miserably. It's not unusual in the summer (I hate curtains, so don't block out the light, but then since I don't go to bed til later, it's not so much of a problem) possibly because I don't really have a routine in the summer since I don't work (at the moment). But at the moment I'm adding the fact that it's cold to this (I hate the cold, and I object to wearing socks to bed in June).
Normally I wouldn't worry too much, but at the moment I've got a pile of extra stresses (my house is falling apart, the boyfriend is buying a house, the bookshelf falling down yesterday and post for mum making me suddenly not cope all over again blah blah blah) so I fixate on the little things that shouldn't be stressful (Odyssey in two weeks, which my booking didn't go through for properly and the boyfriend is nagging at me to get it done, and I failed at getting armour sorted and due to a really important work thing the day after I can't fight (because I will hurt myself otherwise) and oh god people blah blah blah) which is, apparently last night now causing the wonderful cycle of "I can't sleep because I can't breathe, I can't breathe because I'm crying, I'm crying because I can't sleep" which was just what I didn't fucking need at 2am.
There were two more paragraphs here that basically came down to "wah wah I can't cope with being an adult right now" which is pathetic because I can't, I'm just not. So I deleted them and am now going to go and make a cup of tea in a mug that doesn't taste of chai (I like chai, but I also like my tea to taste of tea when I want it to) and have a bath, because that generally makes everything better, and if nothing else, at least my hair will be clean and my legs shaved.
Normally I wouldn't worry too much, but at the moment I've got a pile of extra stresses (my house is falling apart, the boyfriend is buying a house, the bookshelf falling down yesterday and post for mum making me suddenly not cope all over again blah blah blah) so I fixate on the little things that shouldn't be stressful (Odyssey in two weeks, which my booking didn't go through for properly and the boyfriend is nagging at me to get it done, and I failed at getting armour sorted and due to a really important work thing the day after I can't fight (because I will hurt myself otherwise) and oh god people blah blah blah) which is, apparently last night now causing the wonderful cycle of "I can't sleep because I can't breathe, I can't breathe because I'm crying, I'm crying because I can't sleep" which was just what I didn't fucking need at 2am.
There were two more paragraphs here that basically came down to "wah wah I can't cope with being an adult right now" which is pathetic because I can't, I'm just not. So I deleted them and am now going to go and make a cup of tea in a mug that doesn't taste of chai (I like chai, but I also like my tea to taste of tea when I want it to) and have a bath, because that generally makes everything better, and if nothing else, at least my hair will be clean and my legs shaved.
