anonymousblueberry: The Midnighter from The Authority grinning manically (Midnighter would like to offer you pain)
2015-10-17 12:26 am

Hi hi

Is this thing on? I have no idea, it's been years, what the fuck am I doing back here? I've been blogging crafts over at Confessions of an Anonymous Blueberry for about a year now, which has been kind of cool. It's nice to be making stuff, it's nice to see a visible improvement of what I'm doing. My knitting tension still sucks and I'm still terrible at following instructions, but we're getting somewhere, and it's strangely therapeutic. I post way too many stupid photos over on Instagram as well.

Life is err, lifelike. I think. I was seeing a guy, it was good, it was casual, I fucked it up about a year ago and this afternoon panicked when I nearly ran into him in town. I miss the sex and having someone who would go to the pub and talk crap with me. I'm not convinced I miss the baggage that came with him.

I've barely written anything since last year (breakup occurred mid-NaNo, and if that doesn't fuck with the creative process, I'm not sure what does). I'm planning on doing NaNo this year to try and break the rut, but I'm not holding out a lot of hope.

Work sucks, more and more responsibility with no recognition and more chance of being thrown under the train (almost literally, fucking rail company) and no chance of a pay rise. I'd get out, but the pay is sadly high enough that I'm not going to find anything similar locally.

LARP is, err, LARP. Local LARP continues to be a minefield of people being dickheads and some lovely people. We've got a lot of people out with illness and injury this year, which has made it slow and frustrating, and we're down to very low numbers.
Crewing Empire is fun and the fact that people seem to think I'm competent continues to terrify me. My character died at Odyssey in a thoroughly stupid and Greek manner, and I'm planning the replacement (but only for two more events, and then it's all over! Nooooo!)

I'm thinking I'm going to try and keep this updated a bit more regularly. FB is fine for quick rants at people I know, and the blog is good for crafting, and Tumblr is cool for fandom (which I'm back to lurking in in the lurkiest way possible) but I vaguely miss DW/LJ and I'm going to be honest, I'm going through one of my massive down phases, so having somewhere to brain vomit might not be a bad thing.
anonymousblueberry: Fili in Bag End with a plate in his hand, looking a little bit diva-ish (Fili is a plate throwing diva)
2013-06-11 10:03 pm

Fanmix - Lost Graces

Medium: Books/Film
Fandom: The Hobbit
Subject: The Company of Thorin Oakenshield
Title: Lost Graces
Warnings: Possibly spoilery if you haven't read the book.
Notes: I have no idea and no excuse.

I've been meaning to post this for about a month, it's been up on 8tracks for a while, and on tumblr, but I keep forgetting to put it here.

You say my time here has been some sort of joke )
anonymousblueberry: (Freya is broken)
2013-05-28 11:17 pm
Entry tags:


I have managed to poke myself in the eye or something ridiculous and now they're both manky and swollen and goopy. To be fair, they were pretty bad before (if anyone ever tells you you have blepharitis but that it's really easy to control, they're fucking lying) but now they're hideous and I can't even fucking cry without them stinging.
On the up side I've managed to find the wipes I need for them. On the downside, using them means I pretty much can't see anything for a few minutes after I've used them.


(life is dull)
anonymousblueberry: Brendan from Thought Crimes holding an icepack to his head (Icepacks are Brendan's must have item)
2013-05-20 10:49 pm

I should probably actually use this occasionally

I'm mostly over on Tumblr these days on account of pretty things and a rampant lack of desire to say anything to anyone apart from inane squee. But some days I do need to whinge...

*cries* I have been useless all day today. I got in late last night after gaming, went to bed with a nosebleed, slept through all my alarms and woke up with a stinking headache. I was forced out of bed by some overly cheerful charity person banging on my door. Headache did not go away.

I read lots, did nothing, and eventually crawled up the shop for food.

Had pasta and sauce and garlic bread, which I knew would make me ill, but I wanted it so I ate it. And now I still feel like utter shit. Fuck you parsley. Why must you be so fucking cruel?
anonymousblueberry: Fili in Bag End with a plate in his hand, looking a little bit diva-ish (Fili is a plate throwing diva)
2013-03-18 03:10 pm

(no subject)

I am in this position where there is a job that I want being dangled in front of my face, but I'm scared to really want it, because every time I really want something, I don't get it.
I still love the uni, but it's getting to the point where everyone is crazy and there's so much bullshit going on that it's kind of awkward.
And the new job would be maybe cool, I don't know. I think a lot of it is that I do just really want out of the uni.

(life is currently crazy and annoying and all I want to do is the stuff that I don't have time to do, as usual)
anonymousblueberry: Fili in Bag End with a plate in his hand, looking a little bit diva-ish (Fili is a plate throwing diva)
2013-03-06 09:15 pm

Change is gonna come

I'm writing pro and con lists about current job and potential new job. And it's making me fucking miserable because I love my current job but the office politics are really starting to get to me, and I had been hoping that I could do both (both are part time) but that isn't going to work.

I don't know how to be a grown up and it sucks.

I would like to be throwing things, but instead I shall use my icon of Fili throwing stuff, which is almost as good.
anonymousblueberry: The Midnighter from The Authority grinning manically (Midnighter would like to offer you pain)
2013-02-28 10:33 pm

(no subject)

It's fairly safe to say that February is a shit month for me, for a multitude of reasons. This year, in all, hasn't actually been that bad, but apparently now, as I sit on the cusp of it turning to March, I have flipped from being relatively mellow to the desperate need to punch someone's face in. It totally makes sense (or not).

Work is hell, as evidenced by the fact that I got sent to Moulton campus for the afternoon today with about an hour's notice. I got lucky on the buses (but not so lucky that I bumped into current object of pointless lusting #1) and actually managed to get there in time. I sat through one lecture, had lunch, and then found that the second lecture had just vanished. No idea what happened there (there are a couple of theories, which suck for the student, but I really can't be bothered to complain as I still get paid and it meant I could get a sensible bus home instead of having to get the uni service to Park campus and then the bus from there home).

I have done approximately nothing this evening. I couldn't even be bothered to cook a proper dinner. I'm watching Being Human from the start (I tried watching it when it first started and could not get into it, apparently I have grown, or something, or I am just that fucking shallow...)
I'm also rationing myself on The Almighty Johnsons. I have 3 more episodes to watch, and while I am spoiled, I am unwilling to finish. Also the fact that I'm going to have to watch it on my computer as my TV has decided it doesn't like that file type or some such nonsense. The same goes for Game of Thrones. Ugh.

I have a desperate want to put together a new character for some sort of LARP. Actually, I just want to do costuming things, which is ridiculous. I want to make stuff, but I have so little time, and I am so drained by work at the moment that when I get in, the best I can do is make dinner and zone out in front of the TV or computer, which does my head in.

And that seems to be my life at the moment.

Go me.
anonymousblueberry: Icon of the Carrier on a blue backgorund (The Carrier in memory fish)
2013-02-05 05:52 pm

Fanmix - And the mother of gloom

Medium: Comics
Fandom: The Authority
Subject: Jenny Sparks, spirit of the 20th century
Title: And the mother of gloom
Warnings: Contains swearing, which kind of goes with the territory. I'm not going to warn for spoilers, but needless to say, it will probably spoil you if you haven't read any of the original run of The Authority
Notes: I love Jenny Sparks, she's basically my comic book hero (which is a terrible thing to say really), but whatever. The music here isn't period appropriate, nor does it cover all of her life.

You say my time here has been some sort of joke )
anonymousblueberry: John Sheppard leaning over with an arrow pointing to his arse captioned "female gaze" (Subject to the female gaze)
2013-01-20 10:41 am

(no subject)

I spent pretty much all of yesterday editing setting info for the LARP system and today holds much of the same. This does not please me as photoshop and ficwriting are calling.

And all of this is dependent on my getting out from under my pile of blankets. It's snowing. Again.
anonymousblueberry: The Midnighter from The Authority grinning manically (Midnighter would like to offer you pain)
2013-01-18 11:06 pm

This is why no one pays any attention to me...

I had a brief half hour or so this evening (that may have been prompted by how foul I felt after eating pizza) of misery.
Because mum never got to see The Lord of the Rings films. Nor will she ever see the Hobbit films. Whether she would have cared or not, I'm not entirely sure, she was fairly ambivalent to the Fellowship of the Ring when it came out (although that could be said to be her attitude towards pretty much everything by that point). I vaguely remember her mocking my Sean Bean thing, and I'm fairly sure she made approving noises about Viggo Mortensen, but I am fairly sure she would approve of Richard Armitage.

What's weird is that I know I had a copy of The Hobbit when I was little (I still have it, it's illustrated with some really trippy illustrations) but I don't remember who read it to me. I assume mum, but I'm not entirely sure, and I don't like asking dad that sort of thing as he gets a bit weird (understandably) and there is always the chance that I read it to myself once I got old enough to do anything other than just look at the pictures.

Anyway, that was the cheer for the evening. I've spent most of the evening editing content for updates for the LARP system, I said I was going to bed about an hour ago, and then got distracted.

Sleep, I hear it is good for you...
anonymousblueberry: (Freya is broken)
2013-01-13 10:10 am

I'm not sure this time of the morning should exist

Not this time, the 2am time where I was still awake this morning. And yet I was up and about by 10. I'm not really sure what's going on. There was a girl crying on my front garden wall, which was awkward when I opened the curtains. I was going to go and see if she was ok, but she wandered off. I think she's the girlfriend of someone in the halfway house up the road, and I try to avoid them as much as possible. They're not a nice lot (I'm fairly sure I've seen her have a screaming match in the street before).

I took a lump out of my hand yesterday on a shopping basket in Sainsbury's, and its in a really awkward place. I've put a plaster on it, but obviously I have to keep bending my hand, so that's getting in the way, and I need to wash my hair and wash up and do stuff, so that plaster ain't staying put.

I'm poking at fanmixes again. Oops. And I'm finding that my brain is, apparently, in sync with fandom in certain song choices. Balls.

I spent most of yesterday evening reading through my 'writing' folder. There's some really good stuff in there that will never be any use, because it's either really obvious fanfic that I'm never going to finish, and so will never post, or it's Nerys AU, which is just my brain throwing out rubbish. The scene where they find Thomas' body will never not hurt, and the weird discussion of the relationship between Thomas, Daryn and Nerys is my favourite everywhere. Odd little bits occasionally fall into Pathfinder, but not that much, because the world's are too different.
I found some old things that are weird and I have no idea what they're about, and I'm not sure if I want to do something with them or not (there's what looks like something that should be Robin of Sherwood fic, in which Robin is err, not the nice person he is assumed to be, and Herne becomes something much darker).

Right, more tea, clothes, and then possibly getting on with some of that shit that I was supposed to do yesterday. And work out what I'm going to make into lunches for the week.
anonymousblueberry: Icon of the Carrier on a blue backgorund (Default)
2013-01-10 09:41 pm

Fanmix - All My Bridges Have Been Burned (Snowflake_challenge day 9)

Medium: Television
Fandom: Supernatural
Subject: Dean and his relationship with the angels
Title: All my Bridges have been burned
Warnings: Um, spoilery if you haven't seen up to season 6 I guess. Nothing beyond that.
Notes: This has been sat on my computer for ages. And I had it all set up and ready to go and then my computer died and I lost all my playlists, and then I couldn't be bothered to remake it for ages. This probably isn't the same mix that it would have been if I'd posted it a year ago. Who knows. Needless to say I got fed-up of trying to make the cover art, which is why it sucks. There's also no commentary on any of the tracks right now.
I'm afraid there's no zip file because, well, there isn't. There might be one at the weekend, if I have a chance.

That's exactly how this grace thing works )
anonymousblueberry: (Freya is broken)
2013-01-09 03:59 pm

I had a plan for this afternoon

And it didn't involve losing an hour of my life to trying to make the cover art for a fanmix. The art sucks, but I just want the damn thing done and over with, because it's been sitting on my computer for months.
anonymousblueberry: Icon of the Carrier on a blue backgorund (Default)
2013-01-06 07:11 pm

Snowflake challenge day 2

Ok, so I've been fairly out of fandom for a while, so I think most of these links are going to go to Tumblr where I've been lurking recently.

House of Durin fanart of adorableness.

House of Durin adorableness fic (are we seeing a theme here?)

The Joy of the Internet Older True Blood fic which is both excellent and hilarious.
Pam is tired of having to deal with Eric and Godric acting like lovesick teenagers.

Blame the Planet which is The Authority fic, written for me for this year's Yuletide, and involves the planet making them do it. Which is perfectly normal, of course. (you may need to be logged in to read this)
anonymousblueberry: Apollo from the Authority bathed in sunlight (Here comes the sun)
2013-01-04 02:10 pm

Hey man...

I'm behind with things. I'm going to catch up with the Snowflake_challenge stuff tomorrow evening. I've managed a fair amount of house related productivity, a small amount of LARP related writing productivity and a big fat pile of nothing in terms of art (which is kind of annoying).

My dad's christmas present has finally turned up, and I'm now paranoid that it is (a) too small and (b) the wrong cut. It looked longer on the website, but given the amount of faff it's taken to get this far, I'm not sure I want to return it.

I've managed to free up the region on my new DVD/Blu-ray player (DVD region only) which is a bonus as I have a load of region 1 anime, and this way I don't have to keep my old DVD player (3 DVD players is a little redundant, I think). I bought and constructed a shoe rack (which really wasn't very hard) and now all my shoes are neat and tidy, and tomorrow I'll be off to Ikea for a new DVD unit, as my one is full. I'm not entirely sure where to put it, but I'll work that out when I get it home.

I've been trying to reconstruct my playlists on iTunes. I'd got them all nice on Pharangese at the start of last year, and then the harddrive fell over and I had to wipe everything, and the playlists were something that I couldn't recover. I'm getting there, but there were a couple that were almost ready for posting (barring art) that I've now found are still partially constructed, and I can't remember what changes I made. The full versions might be on Nene, but starting iTunes up on her is like wading through treacle (I love my fat cherry red netbook, but she's getting a bit old and possibly in a need of a system wipe).

I've also managed to get the number of tabs open in Firefox down, finally. Some I've just bookmarked (some were things for the snowflake posts, I'll open them up again when I need them), some I've read, some I've given up on.

I've had to list one of my pairs of Doc Martens on ebay, which sucks, but they're slightly too big for me, and the soles are really heavy and make my dodgy ankle really unhappy. Hopefully I'll get a decent amount for them.

Anyway, more washing up beckons, and then I should think about heading to the train station and beyond for gaming tonight. Which annoyingly means putting actual clothes on, rather than my scruffy full of holes jeans.
anonymousblueberry: The Midnighter from The Authority grinning manically (Midnighter would like to offer you pain)
2013-01-03 11:20 am

(no subject)

I ate half a packet of oreos for breakfast (because I couldn't be bothered with cereal) and now I am vibrating. Sugar and me really don't mix very well. I'm going to head into town (I ordered a shoe rack, how grownup is that?) because I need to pick up an HDMI cable, aforementioned shoe rack and some more freezer tubs for the excess of food I made from the remains of the xmas chicken (2 pans of soup and one pan of curry).
And write. I have an awful lot of LARP related stuff that needs writing, including a vaguely norse wedding ceremony sort of thing.

And I need to stop bouncing. And looking at Tumblr because I'm fairly sure that my neighbours by now think I am crazy (this is a given, one set knows me, the other side just has be return their cat occasionally and hands me parcels that get left with them).

I also appear to have lost my Photoshop-fu. The muscles have atrophied. Woe is me.
anonymousblueberry: (Freya is broken)
2013-01-01 10:00 pm

Snowflake challenge of a fandom variety

Day 1

In your own space, post a rec for at least three fanworks that you have created. It can be your favorite fanworks that you've created, or fanworks you feel no one ever saw, or fanworks you say would define you as a creator. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

I hate reccing my own stuff, and I've barely produced anything in the last year or so, but here goes...

Run Over With Mercy, which was this year's Yuletide piece. I'd never written in The Listener fandom, and it terrified me a little, but I'm really happy with how the piece feels, and yes, there is a fair amount of me in it (sudden deaths are something I'm familiar with, Toby's grief is possibly a little too close to my own in places). It's a topic that the series just glossed over, and I will confess that did kind of piss me off.

The Hunter to the Hunted, which was also a Yuletide prompt, several years ago. I love Robin of Sherwood (to the point where I have a quote tattooed on my wrist) and I love the legend of the Wild Hunt, and for all that the series did some really weird things with what Herne was (please, do not get me started), I like the idea that the two could be linked, and ran with it. I honestly can't actually remember what the original request was, but that I managed to get a creepy atmosphere.

The Welcome Hearth is Supernatural fluff in which I get to moon over Dean and Castiel, and then get jossed by the show, utterly.

For a Finer World (part 2) is an Authority fanmix (part 1 is linked in the post) that became a sprawling mess of my love for those stupid comics. My music taste is random, but hey.

And LJ is being an arse, so I won't try and link to anything else.
anonymousblueberry: Icon of the Carrier on a blue backgorund (Default)
2013-01-01 03:21 pm
Entry tags:

New Year, New Beth?

This last year has been a slog. It started out with wonkiness, and it's ended with that resolved, but me living a bit up in the air. I don't know what I'm doing really.

I've made half-arsed resolutions to draw more, write more, read more, exercise more and eat less, although god knows whether they'll even vaguely stick.
I'm fighting the desperate urge to reinvent myself, but I'm far too lazy for that shit.

I will do a proper round of the year, mostly for my benefit, but for now, I am thoroughly worn out (mentally and physically) after the last week or so of dealing with people and so am going to go and hide with books and the pile of DVDs I have acquired in the last month or so, and try and recharge before I start back at work on monday.
I also need to find some leeks and barely to make soup with (I got given the cockerel carcass from xmas dinner, and it really needs something doing with it)
anonymousblueberry: John Sheppard leaning over with an arrow pointing to his arse captioned "female gaze" (Subject to the female gaze)
2012-12-23 05:10 pm

(no subject)

I am twitchy as fuck at the moment. I have no idea why, just a huge excess of energy and nothing really to do with it.
I want a hair cut, and I'm back to pondering more piercings and tattoos. To be fair, there are about 4 tattoo designs that I've been contemplating for several years. I've just not found anywhere that I trust/like the feel of in town. Ugh.

I still haven't found a present for dad (I got him a copy of the Bourne Legacy, but that's a bit of a cop out really). And after 3 hours in town, I still failed today.

Also, dear Yuletide writer... I may be out of internet connection for xmas. I shall have my phone, which has access to the wireless at Dad's house, but it's not the greatest, so I may not get to fic until boxing day.
anonymousblueberry: Icon of the Carrier on a blue backgorund (Default)
2012-12-20 02:35 pm


It's like I'm 14 again and rediscovering fandom and there is LoTR stuff all over the internets again. Tumblr is full of gloriousness.

...yuletide fic, still wallowing in self pity (which is appropriate given what I'm writing).